My two years in Ukraine was the first time I've lived alone. These economic times being what they are and the fact that I choose where I live based on proximity to large bodies of water or availability of ethnic foods, I don't know that I'll ever have that luxury again. Not that I want it! I love being what I consider a built-in plus-one, and having one. This may be a bit dramatic but it seems that learning to live with a best friend is reflective of learning to live with a significant other, just in different beds.
I moved into a one-bedroom L.A. apt with my dear friend from college, Miche, in December, as a "sublet" situation while her real roommate is off in MT and UT. I'll either be couch-hunting in March or headed to MI, but for now, it's ideal! Here's what I've discovered about my roommateself:
1. Move over, Susie Homemaker!
Our schedules being what they are, i.e. one of us works full time and goes to school part time, the other is still trying to muster up full-time work, I'm home more. How do I spend my time? At first, it was reorganizing. Then it was dishes, laundry, vacuuming, tidying, dusting. Lately it's been assisting in some small redecoration projects. After two years in Ukraine where nothing in the house was in my control or felt clean, it is wonderfully refreshing to know that I am clean. I love this feeling of ownership, however temporary it may be.
2. Communication is truly key
All the cheesy, cliched stuff about communication and "I" language is actually spot-on. By being clear and open about our feelings and expectations, Miche and I have not only avoided conflict but have also been free to pick the tasks we want to do and those we don't. I'm often surprised that the one thing I really don't feel like doing she's up for, and vice versa. How fun to share responsibilities in a way that gets things done and everybody's happy! I think we have a mutual understanding that talking things out openly is not going to offend the other, which helps. These lessons have gone beyond the door of 316 to helping me be a better communicator in general.
3. Systematize
Where there is a system there is success! Miche feeds the cat, I vacuum the floor, we share cooking, do our own dishes...expectations are clearly known and understood, and so there is no frustration that it's not done or the other has to be reminded. The same goes for our stuff. Find it a home and it doesn't sit on the counter for weeks. Who knew?!
4. Parallel Play
Miche taught me this one. Ukraine helped me learn how to be an introvert, but that's not my usual style. Having a roommate is like a live-in play date, right? Only until she's got homework or wants her own time in our small space. Therefore, we have times of "parallel play," where we do things in the same place but individually. Again, we get to express our needs/wants with the freedom of being respected and understood by the other.
5. "You can't live with your best friend" myth BUSTED!
The above-mentioned approaches to roommateship sometimes felt a bit clinical at first, but they have become much more natural and have allowed us to live with and enjoy each other's company. There aren't built-up resentments or irritations. In such a small apartment, there's no room for them!
So that's some of who I am as a roommate. Maybe I'll use this entry for my impending Craig's List "couch-wanted" post! Think I'll get any offers?
Monday, February 7, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Looking for Magic Quarter
Ever the modern fairy tale, my mornings usually begin the same way. Delicious coffee, a sweet smile from a beautiful roommate (sometimes she even brings me the coffee before I'm out of bed!), birds singing somewhere, sun shining, and even the distant sound of the freeway is more like a water feature at a classy restaurant. Magic Quarter morning was special, though. I had my morning planned to high efficiency and productivity. After I said goodbye to the roomie, I did a clean sweep of the apartment, giving unlocated things homes, vacuuming and creating a general atmosphere of sparkle. Next stage of the plan: putting a load of laundry into the machine, running while it was washing, and then swing back through the laundry room to pop it into the dryer while I went upstairs to stretch and shower. BRILLIANT. One problem though.
Washing costs 5 quarters and drying was not the 3 that I had thought, but 4. I was already well into the execution stage of my plan, and decided that while running, I would look for Magic Quarter. My eyes barely left the sidewalks as I ran my fastest ever five miles searching for Magic Quarter, willing it to present itself in that gutter or that crack in the curb. I caught myself thinking, "I have faith that I will find Magic Quarter," which then led to an internal discussion about the difference between faith and hope.
It seems to me that faith is an internal assurance of the truth, that things will be ok. My ability to say, "I can handle this," has been challenged recently (an entirely different blog in itself), but I always know that something will work out, even if it's not how I wanted it to go. Hope is just that; the things I want to work out in the way I want them to work, the icing on the cake of faith. I didn't have faith that I'd find Magic Quarter, I had hope.
It's good to know that all times of struggle or difficulty will work out. It's also nice to plan for what I want "working out" to look like, and to see what it ends up being. It keeps each day an adventure, keeps us moving forward and makes for interesting stories.
Here's how it ended with Magic Quarter. I never found it on the street. I asked for it from a neighbor, who gladly gave it.
Blessings to you as you handle the curveballs of hope in the unmoving faith that it will be ok.
Washing costs 5 quarters and drying was not the 3 that I had thought, but 4. I was already well into the execution stage of my plan, and decided that while running, I would look for Magic Quarter. My eyes barely left the sidewalks as I ran my fastest ever five miles searching for Magic Quarter, willing it to present itself in that gutter or that crack in the curb. I caught myself thinking, "I have faith that I will find Magic Quarter," which then led to an internal discussion about the difference between faith and hope.
It seems to me that faith is an internal assurance of the truth, that things will be ok. My ability to say, "I can handle this," has been challenged recently (an entirely different blog in itself), but I always know that something will work out, even if it's not how I wanted it to go. Hope is just that; the things I want to work out in the way I want them to work, the icing on the cake of faith. I didn't have faith that I'd find Magic Quarter, I had hope.
It's good to know that all times of struggle or difficulty will work out. It's also nice to plan for what I want "working out" to look like, and to see what it ends up being. It keeps each day an adventure, keeps us moving forward and makes for interesting stories.
Here's how it ended with Magic Quarter. I never found it on the street. I asked for it from a neighbor, who gladly gave it.
Blessings to you as you handle the curveballs of hope in the unmoving faith that it will be ok.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Makin the rounds.
Being back from my stint abroad has come with its set of readjustments. There are the larger aisles in the supermarkets, the ease of communication with, well, anyone, and the uniformity of street levels to re-acclimate to. There has also been catching up with friends from time ago, and in a way, getting a new start. I feel wonderfully blessed to meet up with people I was only acquaintances with in college, as well as those treasured heart friends. Though a lot has happened in all our lives, it is great meeting them and seeing where they are, who they are, and fitting back in with them in a different way, since we're different people from then ago. So to you, Michelle, Tim B, Fred, Laura M, my LB and Orange families, my Breakfast Anarchists, Sarah and Pat W, Jimmy Jim Jim, Codie, Joe, Bell (via the phone!) and the Rossows, thank you for blessing me with your time, a shared beverage (or two!) and most importantly, YOU. Let's meet up again soon. :)
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Still kickin!
While it may seem that I have neglected my poor blog out of callous disregard for its feelings, I assure you, I think about it often. I remember our great times together, our loving gaze across the candlelit dinner table, and shopping for two on Saturday mornings. Sitting up in a wonderfully cushioned bed with no cracks or dips in one direction or another, coffee in hand, I now settle back into its warm embrace to rekindle our spark. And to let you know how these last months have been.
HIGHLIGHTS (because detail would take too long)
September:
School was as per usual. I had fun teaching lessons at my school and didn't really have a schedule, so was able to come and go to the classes I liked best. :)
The 7th B!
General beauty in the Indian Summer for my last few months of Ukraine.
Taken on my running road. GORGEOUS!
October:
COS conference, which is kind of a how-to-leave conference for groups of volunteers. The friends I made more than two years ago were present, some I hadn't seen in almost two years, and it was great. Lots of lovely bonding and catch-up time!
I'm pretty sure that's Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" we're swaying to there.
The Kiev Marathon, which when I registered, I wasn't sure if it really existed. I ran it with a friend I met at a camp over the summer, and had a great time. That same weekend, I also took the GRE (on my birthday!), closed a grant, and completed my "leaving" medical exam. I was BUSY!
My Marafon teammates! I even scored some prize money from this sucker!
Birthday shenannigins!
HIV/AIDS trainings went of with their standard number of hitches, but were effective programming nonetheless. My counterpart for this project and I organized a training for health teachers in the surrounding villages, and then for our own teachers. We brought in a trainer from Kiev and lives were changed, let me tell you. ;)
Not to be all work and no play, I made it to the far western side of Ukraine one last time and then all the way across to the east for a Halloween shindig for volunteers.
November:
PACKING, GOODBYE-ING, LEAVING. My lovely friend Katie came out to help with this process, which was wonderful. Some parties with my teachers, one last hoopla in the Bunary with neighboring Volunteers, and I was off! Two years done already? WHEW!
Packing Princess Katie!
Recovery by travel: first Egypt then Spain. Egypt's highlights were hiking Mt. Sinai in the dark in time for sunrise from the summit, snorkeling in the Red Sea, and the city of Cairo, which includes the Pyramids and all that. After a week in Egypt, I arrived in Madrid to see my high school friend, Kate. Tapas and red wine presided. I also made a day trip to Segovia, Hemingway country. Lovely!
Gettin my Egyptian on! Well, my touristness...
Sunrise on Sinai.
Snorkeling!
Friend Kate in Madrid.
Segovia. Apparently Walt Disney based the castle in Sleeping Beauty off this architectural gem!
Hittin the ground running, back in the States just in time for Thanksgiving with my mom's side of the family. They are LOUD and awesomely so! At the end of the weekend, I made it north for more Thanksgiving feelings with my dad and stepmom. Then back to Cali!
All my cousins, their spouses, and some KIDS! Whew! Life kept going while I was away!
December:
Concerts, reuniting and acclimating ensued.
To be continued!
HIGHLIGHTS (because detail would take too long)
September:
School was as per usual. I had fun teaching lessons at my school and didn't really have a schedule, so was able to come and go to the classes I liked best. :)
The 7th B!
General beauty in the Indian Summer for my last few months of Ukraine.
Taken on my running road. GORGEOUS!
October:
COS conference, which is kind of a how-to-leave conference for groups of volunteers. The friends I made more than two years ago were present, some I hadn't seen in almost two years, and it was great. Lots of lovely bonding and catch-up time!
I'm pretty sure that's Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" we're swaying to there.
The Kiev Marathon, which when I registered, I wasn't sure if it really existed. I ran it with a friend I met at a camp over the summer, and had a great time. That same weekend, I also took the GRE (on my birthday!), closed a grant, and completed my "leaving" medical exam. I was BUSY!
My Marafon teammates! I even scored some prize money from this sucker!
Birthday shenannigins!
HIV/AIDS trainings went of with their standard number of hitches, but were effective programming nonetheless. My counterpart for this project and I organized a training for health teachers in the surrounding villages, and then for our own teachers. We brought in a trainer from Kiev and lives were changed, let me tell you. ;)
Not to be all work and no play, I made it to the far western side of Ukraine one last time and then all the way across to the east for a Halloween shindig for volunteers.
November:
PACKING, GOODBYE-ING, LEAVING. My lovely friend Katie came out to help with this process, which was wonderful. Some parties with my teachers, one last hoopla in the Bunary with neighboring Volunteers, and I was off! Two years done already? WHEW!
Packing Princess Katie!
Recovery by travel: first Egypt then Spain. Egypt's highlights were hiking Mt. Sinai in the dark in time for sunrise from the summit, snorkeling in the Red Sea, and the city of Cairo, which includes the Pyramids and all that. After a week in Egypt, I arrived in Madrid to see my high school friend, Kate. Tapas and red wine presided. I also made a day trip to Segovia, Hemingway country. Lovely!
Gettin my Egyptian on! Well, my touristness...
Sunrise on Sinai.
Snorkeling!
Friend Kate in Madrid.
Segovia. Apparently Walt Disney based the castle in Sleeping Beauty off this architectural gem!
Hittin the ground running, back in the States just in time for Thanksgiving with my mom's side of the family. They are LOUD and awesomely so! At the end of the weekend, I made it north for more Thanksgiving feelings with my dad and stepmom. Then back to Cali!
All my cousins, their spouses, and some KIDS! Whew! Life kept going while I was away!
December:
Concerts, reuniting and acclimating ensued.
To be continued!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Awesomes
11. Line drying.
12. The smell of the town bread factory at the beginning and end of my runs.
13. Being THIS happy.
14. Coffee.
15. Re-inventing clothes.
16. Conquering a literary behemoth.
17. The lambent book you read really fast after finishing said behemoth.
18. Hosti (hosting)
19. Pets that think they're smaller than they are.
20. Train cups in California.
12. The smell of the town bread factory at the beginning and end of my runs.
13. Being THIS happy.
14. Coffee.
15. Re-inventing clothes.
16. Conquering a literary behemoth.
17. The lambent book you read really fast after finishing said behemoth.
18. Hosti (hosting)
19. Pets that think they're smaller than they are.
20. Train cups in California.
A moment of gratitude
For all its scars and old injuries, perceived imperfections and my occasional struggles in making it look presentable, I am wonderfully grateful for my body. It sometimes seems strange to be limited to a form that changes little and doesn't always seem to reflect the spirit it houses. But today, and recently, I am terribly glad to have a strong, healthy body that lets me go places and move things and interact with the world. I am grateful, too, to not worry so much about the imperfections, and to choose to not see those as important.
It's a good place to be. :)
Blessings to you as you also live in appreciation of your form!
It's a good place to be. :)
Blessings to you as you also live in appreciation of your form!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Awesome Things
This is my 100th post! Woot! Awhile back I posted a video called "1,000 Awesome Things," which got me thinking about my own list. Not promising a thousand, but let's make this an on-going process of admiring those experiences that make us sit back and say, "if this isn't nice, I don't know what is."
Here's to awesome things.
1. The smell of a burnt-out candle.
2. Cooking experiments that turn into favorites.
3. Running without music.
4. Running in company.
5. The smell of new electronics/appliances.
6. The first shave with a new razor blade.
7. Ukraine's version of Two Buck Chuck (and at only about $1.62 a box!)
8. Getting my Facebook status, post, photos, etc., "liked."
9. Finding smell-favorite hair/body products and deciding to be brand-loyal across language barriers.
10. Packages that inspire an out-loud laugh.
Here's to awesome things.
1. The smell of a burnt-out candle.
2. Cooking experiments that turn into favorites.
3. Running without music.
4. Running in company.
5. The smell of new electronics/appliances.
6. The first shave with a new razor blade.
7. Ukraine's version of Two Buck Chuck (and at only about $1.62 a box!)
8. Getting my Facebook status, post, photos, etc., "liked."
9. Finding smell-favorite hair/body products and deciding to be brand-loyal across language barriers.
10. Packages that inspire an out-loud laugh.
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