Thursday, April 7, 2011

Awesomes (from working with my kids)

Aside from the hours I spend driving to get to them, I love my job working with at-risk kids in L.A. I'm mostly teaching math (GULP) but fortunately it's mostly at the middle-school level. There are awesomes in my days with them worth adding to the list.

21. Hearing my own words or expressions come back to me. Like fractions that don't "play nice" and "the five eats the zero."

22. "Wanna see my ____?" Dog, pedometer, zombie sticker, pencil toppers, cat dressed in chihuahua dresses...the answer is always YES!

23. It's ok to call ourselves silly! Even if it really was a mistake, saying we're being silly takes the pressure off. Or something.

24. It's ok to try really hard and still not get it. It'll click eventually. Or never. But you can survive without full grasp of Pythagorean's Theorem as long as you've got spunk!

25. I haven't done this stuff since I was their age. It's amazing what comes back!!!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

A Single Proposal

It is a melancholy time for those who walk alone through this great city in this great time, when they see the cafes, clubs and restaurants crowded with love-struck happy couples ignoring their friend's singular plight. Isolated individuals, left with no other choice, engage their time in online websites, "Speed Dating" events, mixers and the infamous set-up. Alas, the pool from which they may draw potential catch dwindles with every new match made and settled by a ring or a lease.

Thusly, I propose a scheme to my fellow single countrymen. Rather than continue to debase oneself with the flotsam washed or forced upon your shore by helpful friends or bringing with them unwanted attentions, henceforth deny invitations to matchmaking or suggestions for a romantic evening engagement from the lout brazen and foolhardy enough to pass his telephone number to you on the back of an ATM receipt. You shall not, under any circumstances, attempt to enter said fishing endeavor for at least two years from this date. This is the amount of time it will take those currently committed on whom you have your eye to detach from their significant other, citing "irreconcilable differences," recover from their wounds and properly allocate their baggage, and then turn the corner to find you, who has been waiting all this time for just this moment to make their life truly complete.

My argument is further augmented by the consideration such a plan has on the benefits of society. Singles whose misdirected drive for passion may now engage in more worthwhile pursuits can restore the national debt, bring us several steps closer to various cures for various diseases and ailments, restructure our school system, and quite possibly bring peace to the world. At the very least, the product of many knitting needles will keep laps and necks warmer.

I profess, in the sincerity of my heart, that I may have some personal interest in endeavoring to convince you of this arrangement, as it is said, misery loves company.

The End.

Not a Secret Any More!

The roomie was away for a weekend not too long ago, and I found myself indulging in a classic concept coined by Carrie in Sex and the City; I was in full swing with my "Secret Single Behaviors." These idiosyncrasies are those that we only do when we know we will be alone for a certain time or cannot be reached or seen by those who know us and might judge. Carrie's example (not a secret any more) is to stand in the kitchen eating saltines with grape jelly and reading fashion magazines. A tad tame for a purported "sex columnist" but that's the beauty of an SSB! It doesn't have to make sense.

So with the roomie gone and working my usual 4 am-12 noon at the Joe's, my break in single routine revolved mainly around the couch. The three nights I spent alone were not in my bed, but rather on the couch (at all hours, too) with the t.v. on. Dishes piled up, the cat went hungry, I ate Mac 'N Cheese and channel surfed. SSB? More like Blase Behavior!

Turn of events: Sometime between late-late and the wee hours, I was introduced to a haircare system that would revolutionize my locks after just one use! Multiple women stepped forward to have their hair washed, no luxuriously bathed, by this wonder product, and then interviewed after with shining smiles and curls or gentle waves. They couldn't believe how after just one use, they could see such a difference! And styling was so much easier! It was a one-time payment and they were so certain that I'd love the product that I could return it for a full refund, even if the bottles were empty!

But wait, there's more! The free gifts started rolling in. There was a comb, a balm and a styling creme. Well now! What an offer! How can I refuse?

Being more or less morally opposed to ordering off the t.v., I went online. It seemed so much less cliche. Soon enough, I was completing my order.

BUT WAIT. THERE WAS MORE.
As a new customer, I was privileged to get the introductory rate for a mineral make up and foundation set. THERE WERE MORE FREE GIFTS! I got two brushes, an eyeshadow palette and an undereye cream along with the bronzer, foundation, etc. All for just $10! A steal. This, too, came with a we-know-you'll-love-it guarantee of sending back the empty containers for a full refund. Why not?!

And so I have added a new vice to my repertoire. As the roomie has returned and restored reality, so is going the way of my haircare system, which wasn't all that (OR a bag of chips!).

And yes, the bottles are being mailed back empty. :)

Monday, February 7, 2011

Who I am with a built-in plus-one

My two years in Ukraine was the first time I've lived alone. These economic times being what they are and the fact that I choose where I live based on proximity to large bodies of water or availability of ethnic foods, I don't know that I'll ever have that luxury again. Not that I want it! I love being what I consider a built-in plus-one, and having one. This may be a bit dramatic but it seems that learning to live with a best friend is reflective of learning to live with a significant other, just in different beds.

I moved into a one-bedroom L.A. apt with my dear friend from college, Miche, in December, as a "sublet" situation while her real roommate is off in MT and UT. I'll either be couch-hunting in March or headed to MI, but for now, it's ideal! Here's what I've discovered about my roommateself:

1. Move over, Susie Homemaker!
Our schedules being what they are, i.e. one of us works full time and goes to school part time, the other is still trying to muster up full-time work, I'm home more. How do I spend my time? At first, it was reorganizing. Then it was dishes, laundry, vacuuming, tidying, dusting. Lately it's been assisting in some small redecoration projects. After two years in Ukraine where nothing in the house was in my control or felt clean, it is wonderfully refreshing to know that I am clean. I love this feeling of ownership, however temporary it may be.

2. Communication is truly key
All the cheesy, cliched stuff about communication and "I" language is actually spot-on. By being clear and open about our feelings and expectations, Miche and I have not only avoided conflict but have also been free to pick the tasks we want to do and those we don't. I'm often surprised that the one thing I really don't feel like doing she's up for, and vice versa. How fun to share responsibilities in a way that gets things done and everybody's happy! I think we have a mutual understanding that talking things out openly is not going to offend the other, which helps. These lessons have gone beyond the door of 316 to helping me be a better communicator in general.

3. Systematize
Where there is a system there is success! Miche feeds the cat, I vacuum the floor, we share cooking, do our own dishes...expectations are clearly known and understood, and so there is no frustration that it's not done or the other has to be reminded. The same goes for our stuff. Find it a home and it doesn't sit on the counter for weeks. Who knew?!

4. Parallel Play
Miche taught me this one. Ukraine helped me learn how to be an introvert, but that's not my usual style. Having a roommate is like a live-in play date, right? Only until she's got homework or wants her own time in our small space. Therefore, we have times of "parallel play," where we do things in the same place but individually. Again, we get to express our needs/wants with the freedom of being respected and understood by the other.

5. "You can't live with your best friend" myth BUSTED!
The above-mentioned approaches to roommateship sometimes felt a bit clinical at first, but they have become much more natural and have allowed us to live with and enjoy each other's company. There aren't built-up resentments or irritations. In such a small apartment, there's no room for them!

So that's some of who I am as a roommate. Maybe I'll use this entry for my impending Craig's List "couch-wanted" post! Think I'll get any offers?

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Looking for Magic Quarter

Ever the modern fairy tale, my mornings usually begin the same way. Delicious coffee, a sweet smile from a beautiful roommate (sometimes she even brings me the coffee before I'm out of bed!), birds singing somewhere, sun shining, and even the distant sound of the freeway is more like a water feature at a classy restaurant. Magic Quarter morning was special, though. I had my morning planned to high efficiency and productivity. After I said goodbye to the roomie, I did a clean sweep of the apartment, giving unlocated things homes, vacuuming and creating a general atmosphere of sparkle. Next stage of the plan: putting a load of laundry into the machine, running while it was washing, and then swing back through the laundry room to pop it into the dryer while I went upstairs to stretch and shower. BRILLIANT. One problem though.

Washing costs 5 quarters and drying was not the 3 that I had thought, but 4. I was already well into the execution stage of my plan, and decided that while running, I would look for Magic Quarter. My eyes barely left the sidewalks as I ran my fastest ever five miles searching for Magic Quarter, willing it to present itself in that gutter or that crack in the curb. I caught myself thinking, "I have faith that I will find Magic Quarter," which then led to an internal discussion about the difference between faith and hope.

It seems to me that faith is an internal assurance of the truth, that things will be ok. My ability to say, "I can handle this," has been challenged recently (an entirely different blog in itself), but I always know that something will work out, even if it's not how I wanted it to go. Hope is just that; the things I want to work out in the way I want them to work, the icing on the cake of faith. I didn't have faith that I'd find Magic Quarter, I had hope.

It's good to know that all times of struggle or difficulty will work out. It's also nice to plan for what I want "working out" to look like, and to see what it ends up being. It keeps each day an adventure, keeps us moving forward and makes for interesting stories.

Here's how it ended with Magic Quarter. I never found it on the street. I asked for it from a neighbor, who gladly gave it.

Blessings to you as you handle the curveballs of hope in the unmoving faith that it will be ok.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Makin the rounds.

Being back from my stint abroad has come with its set of readjustments. There are the larger aisles in the supermarkets, the ease of communication with, well, anyone, and the uniformity of street levels to re-acclimate to. There has also been catching up with friends from time ago, and in a way, getting a new start. I feel wonderfully blessed to meet up with people I was only acquaintances with in college, as well as those treasured heart friends. Though a lot has happened in all our lives, it is great meeting them and seeing where they are, who they are, and fitting back in with them in a different way, since we're different people from then ago. So to you, Michelle, Tim B, Fred, Laura M, my LB and Orange families, my Breakfast Anarchists, Sarah and Pat W, Jimmy Jim Jim, Codie, Joe, Bell (via the phone!) and the Rossows, thank you for blessing me with your time, a shared beverage (or two!) and most importantly, YOU. Let's meet up again soon. :)